Elvis and da water

Well, dis was a week i'll neva forget. First of all,I have been itching my ears alot and dat annoys me. My parents have been letting me outside on a leash and a stupid rope so they can watch me. I escaped twice so they had to get me a betta collar that would hold me in. Damn that! Now i can't break free. Well, anyway, i must have gotten some bugs inmy ears because dey itched some-ting fierce. So, my Mommy got me ear mite drops..they suck ass. I hated that! They held my fucking head down and put dose drops in, fuck them fuck! After that i shook my head and the next morning all the goop was wet on the sides of my head and my ears. I looked ugly, damn it. So den i went out on my leash and rolled in da dirt. i got so dirty but it was fun. All the dirt stuck to my wet ears and I looked like Elvis. My neighbor called me Elvis, fucker! After dat, I was so dirty dat I had to be washed. I am still to traumatized to tell you about my washing experience. I will write more when I calm down a bit. Sometimes its really rough being a cat. bye, Love, Linus